High Heels on a Deeper Scale

Click clack went the heels down the hall. Every beat hit the floor in exactly four measures as the three girls walked down the halls with an air of both arrogance and entitlement surrounding their heads. They were royalty by the element of fear. Because people feared them and awed them they were popular. The ones who loathed them was only because they showed them that power and beauty were more important than intelligence and college. These were the girls who society would later hate and love for many different reasons.

Doctors would hate these girls because they would become models and fashion designers always telling normal sized girls that if they were as skinny as photo-shopped interpretations of women then they weren’t beautiful. They would hate these women because they would force other women to go on useless diets that never did anything to help them but only starved them and the longer these women stayed on the diets, the longer they thought they were ugly and so they will always starve themselves.

Men would fall over heels for these statues of narcissistic women as they could dream that they could be merely rich while these girls sat on the laps of their daddies knowing that they had all the wealth and would never have to lift a finger unless the economy would completely fall over itself and that somehow the politicians didn’t care for the wealthy and save them by giving them billions of dollars, which has yet to happen.

The women who were perhaps just a little too wide or didn’t fit the magazine/Hollywood glamour would want to kill these women every day for making them seem uglier and uglier as the day went by. They flaunt themselves in tight jeans and faux designer tops from JC Penny and they would wonder about how to sing, act or go into model careers, for these women never would dare use their brains and call these slightly plump women, fat. And never dare to turn around to see how these so called “fat” women cry and torment themselves until the day they die. For because they think they are ugly and fat they never go anywhere, and they never go anywhere because they keep to themselves and fail at everything they do and never get loved. Because they never get loved because they never go anywhere because they stay inside because they are ashamed that they can’t fit the magazines, they in their delusional thinking truly believe they can never love or be loved by anyone.

If the women with these high and mighty attitudes and these fashion advice from the depths of only seven to nine years of fashion magazines that change their minds every year, saw what they did to the insecure and knew that they were hated and cursed every day, would they feel the same way? Would they know to have a gentler approach? I don’t personally think so. I think they would toss their hair back and say “Oops I drop my cell phone.” And the nearest idiots would rush to her side and be her slaves just for one day and then they are forgotten underneath all that hair spray and perm-ing they do. Not to mention their little cute dogs who they carry around in $2000 purses that was paid for on the credit card that Daddy pays for and plastic surgery. For these vain girls also think they are ugly and because of that we show our briefest pity.

You may make fun of them but if you want to be one of them or not, they still influenced your thinking. You still keep your impressions of beauty, whatever beauty is as long as you know what it is influenced by. This is all I think when I hear those high heels clinking.

Lost in a Opal Fog

I am alone in a fog. This liquid opal substance spins me

The scene turns upside down but stays green

Trying to run away from the heat that been thrown at me

the heat climbs up my leg

And travels to my melted brain

Sit down, can't

Stand up, can't

All I have time for

All I have the strength for

is to lie flat on my back

my mind is in a haze

war is some kind of new craze

this city is a maze (not your fault)

the glutton of this tomb keeps my hands still

you say don't write, i hear don't think

I have been imprisoned for a complex organizing matter

when the person who created it

is non existing and an absent hatter

punished for the days to come

prayed that I would dare to remember

lions are birds

the wind makes me colder

orange is supposed to make me hungrier

when all it does is represent anti-torture

quick drop two steps

NaNoWriMo is around the corner

My grandma has cancer

Right now I pity my mother

Let me out of this bleary fog

I wish time didn't matter

Who the fuck is Edward?

Alone, oh so lonely

Can't get up and now I'm falling

Wishing I had a brave gangster

Since that what knights are

Sex is betraying me

A sin to think

A sin to say

Condoms on every wall

It's inavoidable

That's what teenagers think of now

I'm lost and I'm trapped

The bars echo within my head

I try to leap but only hop instead

I have to worry about STD's, GT's, DD's, prom and HIV

I have to stress about my grades

But learn to manage anxiety

I can't afford to care or disagree

I want to be a kid and sit in a tree

Wonder about the future

Parents tell their kids not to grow up t fast, yet they say hurry hurry

We must strive to be the best,

Pass the test

Smile when we detest

Learn to hope, be taught not to mope

Deal with insane people

Shut up and not to think

Worry about our healthcare

Worry about war

Can you see why I'm in this fog?

I need to escape it all

I need to work too and obey

Money is the only thing

That's why I died today.

People are indeed strange when you really are a stranger

The song "People are Strange" contains the line "People are strange when you're a stranger." Although I do agree with this...I had came up with "Humans are Cruel when you're a human." Because while sitting in class and being read about the Hiroshima survivors of WWII (The day before I was reading about what the Americans did to the Native Americans), I was pained because I was forced to remember what people went through to have the same rights as others.

Talk about rights, why does anyone care who marry who and how does their marriage effect you? I don't consider myself a misanthrope but I believe the more people act like they are entitled to declare their beliefs and let everyone else suffer, then I shall go down that road. People have shown me little hope except their knowledge of politics but even then the future of America seems dismal from my point of view.

I went to a peace rally/ march on Saturday. I was sort pumped up because of the talk of human rights, peace and anti-torture. Also the fact that my now orange hair supported the cause of anti-torture seem to humor me at the time. But the flip side to this rally was that the people blamed Obama who won a nobel peace prize. It's not really an oxymoron since Nobel was the one who started making liquid nitrogen to make the supreme weapon so that war was impossible, which is ironic. But they blamed Obama nonetheless for their suffering and my roommate pointed out that he hadn't been office that long of a time. To my thinking, I would blame the leader of the country too but people thought after a week of being in office he was supposed to fix everything, but how could he when he up against the slowest group of people to decide anything? Yes, I mean Congress. (Pro vs. Con. The opposite of progress is congress!)

By the way, asteism or backhanded compliment is an insult that sounds like a compliment. My friend constantly gives these out, sometimes unknowingly and you're stuck wondering what the meaning behind her statement is. When I speak, I try not to involve any meaning because I save it for my writing, yet human nature in other people evalutate my words and find meaning in them that I didn't even see.

Becoming Leader is Not Always Fun

It had been seven days since SECA threw garbage bombs. Cloud still didn't have a leader because the requirements... The requirements included : being upperclass which meant that Nathaniel had recruited you himself, never gotten [seriously] injured at all while on field duty, forseenful of field commands, knew the general rules (even though Nathaniel had assigned everyone different rules), knew how to talk to people, knew how to fight, and was intelligent. Everyone at some point had gotten seriously hurt except for "Riddle" who never went out to the field and me who was new.
"Riddle" had all the requirements. He was experienced at fighting and could calm a crowd and talk out of anything, could forsee the mistakes people (meaning SECA) were about to make on the field, was upperclass, and was intelligent enough to know when to back out and listen to other people. Yet he thought I would be a better leader of Cloud.
"Why?" I asked. "It makes no sense. They're angry too about you giving it up."
"They can be as angry as they want to be. You are able to isolate yourself from others in such a way that makes you able to focus. I fear for everyone and worry about them too. Sure, I have the requirements but if I was in a situation that I would have to kill someone, I couldn't. Not even for love. You are abled, because you have nothing to lose," he said. Before I could argue the latter, Nathaniel walked in and pulled me out of the room. So much for leadership. Everyone was murmuring still until Nathaniel glared at them. It sent a wave of silence across the room that would have killed.
"Everyone? Riddle has decided to step down and since no one else fit the requirements, that means it's unanimous. Rainbow wins," he announced. Some people disagreed with this, I among them. Others cheered, I pitied them.
"Everyone I have to say that Nathaniel's nickname is no longer needed. I shall never answer to Riddle again. My true name is Oblivion. Oblivion Shamentine," said Oblivion. Everyone was silent as they processed what just happened. I knew what happened as soon as he said it. He made a promise that he would say his real name if I became the leader of Cloud. I looked at Oblivion who was staring straight out into the crowd, just watching. The first time I had saw him he was nameless in a dark corner with that same expression...no he was happy that what he wanted finally was made possible. I would have to lead this nonorganized organization? How lovely was this? I smiled and thought "Holy moly, oh shit, oh shit, how did I even get involved with these people?" I still had to earn their trust when I knew I wasn't going to give them mine.



This is a part of story because that what I do.